Die Geschichte der Irish Setter
Dog Terms


ANGULATION Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress judges
BALANCE a) How to arrange the checkbook so your husband won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually donein the bathroom with the door locked;
  b) Ability to hold coffee, danish, leash, treats, and entry form all at once.
BITCH a) Proper name for a female dog;
  b) Name often heard at dog shows, not always to
describe a female dog.
BLIND RETRIEVE When you can't see the toy under the furniture.
CGC Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe (aka GAS)
COAT The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.
CRABBING What you do when the judge doesn't like your dog.
DAM a) A female dog with puppies
  b) Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring.
DISTEMPER Shown by those competitors who just lost to someone
they can't stand.
DOG To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to attain more breed wins.
DOUBLE BIND Finding two toys under the furniture.
ELBOW Method of getting to ringside quickly when late.
EXPRESSION 'Sweet' look adopted by hungry dogs while staring
ravenously at chunks of liver.
FANCIER Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.
FORCE FETCH Dog drops the toy under the furniture, scratches at
the carpet until you're forced to 'fetch' it.
FRONT Part of the dog often facing outside of the ring.
GUARD HAIR An activity in which one watches intently as the dog's
hair falls out, in clumps, just after entries are mailed.
HEEL a) What you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice;
  b) Expression often screamed to attract the attention
of deaf dogs.
HOCK A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings.
KENNEL Where you go when the kids fight and your husband is in
one of his moods.
LITTER Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a
dog show.
MASK What to wear when you have to show your gorgeous pick of the litter that fell apart a week before the show.
MUZZLE What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night.
NOSEPRINTS Cute marks left all over your French doors.
OUTCROSSING What your husband tells the minister you are doing
out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.
OVERSHOT Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring marker and plow into the judge and the stewards.
PEDIGREE Dog food with lots of coupons.
POINTS Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.
PUPPIES Small, dog like food processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies. (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky systems, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank
QUALIFYING SCORE Just the 170.5 you got in obedience today.
RIBBONS What competitive exhibitors with distemper (see above)
will cut you into when your dog places over theirs.
SPECIALTY Whatever your dog is good at, like bringing home dead
cats or chewing on walls.
TYPE What your dog has.....if you turn down the lights and squint a little.
UTILITY The kind of vehicle you need to haul around your dogs.