|ANGULATION||Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress judges|
|BALANCE||a) How to arrange the checkbook so your husband won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually donein the bathroom with the door locked;|
|b) Ability to hold coffee, danish, leash, treats, and entry form all at once.|
|BITCH||a) Proper name for a female dog;|
b) Name often heard
at dog shows, not always to
describe a female dog.
|BLIND RETRIEVE||When you can't see the toy under the furniture.|
|CGC||Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe (aka GAS)|
|COAT||The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.|
|CRABBING||What you do when the judge doesn't like your dog.|
|DAM||a) A female dog with puppies|
|b) Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring.|
Shown by those
competitors who just lost to someone
they can't stand.
|DOG||To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to attain more breed wins.|
|DOUBLE BIND||Finding two toys under the furniture.|
|ELBOW||Method of getting to ringside quickly when late.|
'Sweet' look adopted
by hungry dogs while staring
ravenously at chunks of liver.
Degree to which some
gentlemen handlers dress more than others.
Dog drops the toy
under the furniture, scratches at
the carpet until you're forced to 'fetch' it.
|FRONT||Part of the dog often facing outside of the ring.|
An activity in which
one watches intently as the dog's
hair falls out, in clumps, just after entries are mailed.
|HEEL||a) What you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice;|
b) Expression often
screamed to attract the attention
of deaf dogs.
|HOCK||A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings.|
Where you go when the
kids fight and your husband is in
one of his moods.
Trash left all over
the building and parking lot after a
|MASK||What to wear when you have to show your gorgeous pick of the litter that fell apart a week before the show.|
|MUZZLE||What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night.|
|NOSEPRINTS||Cute marks left all over your French doors.|
What your husband
tells the minister you are doing
out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.
|OVERSHOT||Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring marker and plow into the judge and the stewards.|
|PEDIGREE||Dog food with lots of coupons.|
|POINTS||Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.|
Small, dog like food
processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and
collectively deafen a band of magpies. (These creatures have not yet
been perfected, as they come with leaky systems, and can also be
dangerous to weak hearts and bank
|QUALIFYING SCORE||Just the 170.5 you got in obedience today.|
exhibitors with distemper (see above)
will cut you into when your dog places over theirs.
Whatever your dog is
good at, like bringing home dead
cats or chewing on walls.
|TYPE||What your dog has.....if you turn down the lights and squint a little.|
|UTILITY||The kind of vehicle you need to haul around your dogs.|